Blokes like to build things, yeah they do. But it has nothing, absolutely nothing with getting things fixed around the house.
Bugger all, in fact.
What Blokes mean by doing something useful, is written in a different language, and it surely ain’t mine. This is a picture of a bloke having an idea. It should be obvious to the meanest intelligence, that It will not help you. What It really wants to do, is go to a hardware store.
To have fun.
Looking at endless boxes of screws, and nuts, and bolts, and lengths of cable. Then he has to consider the Project. Please note, it is a ‘Project,’ and nothing to do with you, or the broken pipe in the bathroom.
And then…he must Think.
The Missus, makes the mistake of warning the bloke, that she wants him to actually do some work. Bad mistake, real bad mistake.
He reacts badly….
Very badly….
But the lure of B & Q (that’s our hardware store, for you Yanks) grabs him. Don’t be simple, that smile means zilch, zippo.
“Just off to B & Q, dear”
And off he goes, beaming at you. Don’t smile back, it’s a waste of muscle power.
Some folks believe that life is good, that ‘He’ is gonna mend the roof, fix the kitchen sink, whatever. It’s a dream, it will not happen.
This guy is a fantasy. Believe me.
After hours of nail gazing, nail thinking and pondering, the Bloke will return, nailess of course, to consider his options. He has a happy hour, or two, maybe three. And not a single bloody nail gets hammered.
You want stuff fixed? Join a class, learn some plumbing, better than ‘Improve your French’ any day of the week. Yep.
The Pirate...
Wanted to go to the Boat Show
So off we went. It was great fun, and there were folks who talked about boats
Serious stuff, and these two bods obviously were planning the Great Trek – or something.
And some people who …’talked’
Or looked at Boats…
And dreamed about Boats.
I rather liked this one…
And fell in love with this one. I wanted the Pirate to have a boat named ‘The Black Pig’ but he didn’t want to play Capten’ Pugwash, drat him.
This lady was wheeling and dealing, bet she sold a storm: as for that bug-eyed creature, is it humanoid? Doubt it.
Some folks took the selling game, more relaxed, and …'waited'.
It was a lovely day… the sun came out, and stayed out: the Band had a pre-session discussion
All I needed was this comfy looking boat with cushions: a tall glass of something sparking and….
Someone to do the rowing, please?
Nope. No Way.More to see, so orff we went..for a boat trip.
And that's another story.
‘Through the leafy lanes of summer, we will go” wrote the poet, and I’m sure some literary bods will know where I lifted that from. I surely don’t. And while they’re at it, check if I quoted it right. Probably not.
Yesterday, I walked down this particular leafy lane to the river, simply to gawk at the boats and the people.
Someone had given up on bathing any more…and slung the bath out.
Everyone was down by the River, There were the cops talking to the lock keeper…
Along with a very interested cyclist, who seemed to have no qualms about evesdropping.
And when they had done their little chat, trotted back to the boat. I resisted (with considerable difficulty) the urge to hum ‘A Policeman’s lot is not a Happy one..Not a Happy One!” Very sorry to Mr Gilberts and Sullivan, sorry.
There were the geese who wanted to be fed…..
‘Got a young family to support yu’ know!”
And the lock keeper’s dog who was doing stuff all. Really he’s a walking carpet, and that’s about it.
Some people worked on the River
and some people ran by the River
A big boat came down towards the lock. Too big.
No, I don’t know why that dipstick on the towpath was taking a photo of me. (I hope chummy pays up for the copyright). So the boat turned round.
With a very interesting 7 point turn.
Lots of boats of different sizes filled up the lock And one lone lady canoeist.
When the gates opened, the intrepid lady explorer led the way.
Dunno what this lot were doing on the River; looked as though they should be hunting the Snark, out on the ocean waves.
Well fed crew, on the rotund side, wouldn’t you say? Behind them came Capten’ BirdsEye, and his dog
That was one happy dog; his Master and Commander, beamed at me as they chugged through.
Smashing, just how it ought to be. Smashing.
