Ring My Bell

It's not only females who read advice columns. Blokes do as well, but some of this stuff is rather suspect.

Sometimes it can get blokes into trouble – and a clip round the ear.

Or worse.

Take this advice for those of you who aspire to being good kissers.

He suggests that you ‘lean forward and gaze deeply into her eyes, you keep leaning forward, looking deeply…’

No, no, no, all a female will do, is worry about her make-up, worry lines, spots, and so on.

You get the picture. If any bloke started on me, like that – it’s time to go.

And then? You draw back, very slowly gazing all the time into her eyes: if she is still with you, and not running for the bus, of course.

By the time you are moving in on the final lunge, she’ll be doing ‘Phone a friend’

This week, it looked like a good subject. 10 compliments that wow a man. Have to say, I’m not sure about this one

‘Your arms are definitely looking bigger’

Really, I don’t think it would be his ARMS that would generate this particular compliment.

Think about it.

My excuse for this pic is

(1) He has got big arms

(2) The Kraut likes him

(3) I like him

Yep.

Happiness is Fun

Happiness may be described as a chimera by the cynical and disbelieving among us. If you believe that, then happiness is a fantasy, but according to Boris Johnson, not so.



For the benefit of you Yanks, I shall digress and explain Boris - briefly. Our Boris is famous for saying naughty things, which wouldn't matter except for the fact that he is also the Honourable Member of Parliament for Henley.

No, I'm not going to explain bloody Henley, it's full of rich tossers, and that's enough for anyone.

What naughty things you ask? He's usually slagging off some town or city and offending everyone who lives there. Portsmouth was the last one, and its ‘depressed’ citizens are feeling pretty sore about Boris.

If you want to read any more, go to
boriswatch

However, I think Boris has got it right this time. (That worries me, but we will move swiftly on) Yes I do.

Putting aside his remarks about our nearly-Prime Minister, dear Gordon – I try not to think about Gordon too much, he bores me to tears - our Boris points out that we don’t work our butts off for the sheer fun of it. The reason is
“We do what we do because we hope to achieve happiness.”

The mop-top is right: except for a few dick-heads, most of us know that there are a lot of fun, worthwhile things to do, instead of spending our precious lives adding to ‘the Gross Domestic Product of UK PLC.’

My only quibble with the thoughts of Boris on this subject is his contention that ‘getting to grips with the emergence of Athenian democracy or the transition of Rome from republic to empire’ is a prerequisite of happiness.

Some how that don’t crack it for me
He’s dead right about the joys of getting sozzled and sitting in the sun though.

Yep.

Notes

Etymology: Latin chimaera, from Greek chimaira she-goat, chimera; akin to Old Norse gymbr yearling ewe.
a capitalized : a fire-breathing she-monster in Greek mythology having a lion’s head, a goat’s body, and a serpent’s tail b : an imaginary monster compounded of incongruous parts
2 : an illusion or fabrication of the mind; especially : an unrealizable dream -a fancy, a chimera in my brain, troubles me in my prayer—John Donne

From Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary


Bibliography

‘The purpose of life is happiness: so fight the new enemies of fun.’
Johnson, Boris. The Spectator, May 26th 2007

http://www.boriswatch.com/

Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary at http://m-w.com/