Blokes like to build things, yeah they do. But it has nothing, absolutely nothing with getting things fixed around the house.
Bugger all, in fact.
What Blokes mean by doing something useful, is written in a different language, and it surely ain’t mine.
This is a picture of a bloke having an idea. It should be obvious to the meanest intelligence, that It will not help you. What It really wants to do, is go to a hardware store.
To have fun.
Looking at endless boxes of screws, and nuts, and bolts, and lengths of cable.
Then he has to consider the Project. Please note, it is a ‘Project,’ and nothing to do with you, or the broken pipe in the bathroom.
And then…he must Think.
The Missus, makes the mistake of warning the bloke, that she wants him to actually do some work. Bad mistake, real bad mistake.
He reacts badly….
Very badly….
But the lure of B & Q (that’s our hardware store, for you Yanks) grabs him. Don’t be simple, that smile means zilch, zippo.
“Just off to B & Q, dear”
And off he goes, beaming at you. Don’t smile back, it’s a waste of muscle power.
Some folks believe that life is good, that ‘He’ is gonna mend the roof, fix the kitchen sink, whatever. It’s a dream, it will not happen.
This guy is a fantasy. Believe me.
After hours of nail gazing, nail thinking and pondering, the Bloke will return, nailess of course, to consider his options. He has a happy hour, or two, maybe three. And not a single bloody nail gets hammered.
You want stuff fixed? Join a class, learn some plumbing, better than ‘Improve your French’ any day of the week. Yep.
8 comments:
This blog is a little harsh towards helpful husbandkind, don't you think?
To a REAL man a visit to B&Q is a religious experience - I could happily spend all Sunday there *keeps me away from the nagging missus*.
In fact, if women didn't nag men would never go out.
The idea of evening classes for women is a good one - one more evening of peace and quiet with a beer in front of the tv...
Now here is a bloke with a death wish :-) jus you wait til Fred gets back at ya ... now that's Fred as I know him... I mean her... or rather, it ... so you got it coming!
Naaah, Delicia. I ain't afraid.
I gotta necklace of garlic wot keeps away the wampyrs, and a large garland of bladderwrack wot should keep the likes of rantin' RedFred at bay...
Let her bay at the moon, say I.
Now look here Blob. There is no such thing as a helpful husbandkind, or any helpful bloke kith an kin, when it comes to real WORK.
I am sure you could spend, and do spend, all Sunday in the pub having a 'religious' experience...after having spent a vacent hour or two, in B&Q. Delicia is right - you HAVE got it coming; right in the choppers *dusts hands*
I juss hope dat no cartoon characters was hurt in the publicashun of dis blog
*narrows eyes* The only character to get hurt on this blog, is Mr Blob *bunches fists*
AND ..I don't want to be hearing another single 'HAW HAW' from anybody.
Got it?
Ahem.
Me bladderwrack warned me last night that a storm was comin' - usin' seaweed to forecast the weather ain't just an old wives tail, yer know.
And Lo, here's ol' Fred bayin' at the moon an' such - an' I'm still here.
So I reckon it works on all counts *and countesses*.
Haw, haw, says I - HAW, HAW!
Dear Mr Blob
Liberal to a fault we may be on this blog, but...I feel, must draw the line at any description of ...well, any 'personal attributes'
*smile*
I'm sure, everyone will understand *smile*
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