Every time I go through the airport, they freak over my Boots – they are only Boots, for heaven’s sake. At Luton the people go bananas.
‘Off’ they yell, ‘Boots off!’
My Boots are nice, sturdy things, but they sure upset Luton where Easy Jet becomes ‘Total Freak Jet'.
Once I have removed my offending footwear, all the staff become ‘Jolly Jet’ and beam away.
No such carry on at the Berlin end – ‘Kommer!!’
The Frau waves a laser stick over my dangerous boots.
”Beepity beep beep”…and it’s over.
The train from Rostock to Berlin was empty, so I rested my booted feet on the seat (they were clean you know.)
The Kraut says she has a plastic bag for such occasions, she would.
It was all right until the Frau Controller appeared, ‘Schuhen, Schuhen!’
In other words ‘Get ‘em off’
Next time I go through Berlin Schonefeld, I’ll try out this costume.
The Kraut dragged me into this shop run by a charming lady from Morocco. For some reason, she and the Kraut wanted to dress me up in this green stuff.
I shall wear it with my Boots - that should do it.
Enough to get me arrested.
Yep
(The nice lady from Morocco)
10 comments:
Wow -I don't know what to say. I'm sure there are families of Bedouin serving feasts complete with sheep eyeballs inside that...
Forget it Mad Dog - you can have the sheep's eyes. I blame the Kraut, it's all her fault.
She just wants me to get thrown in jail.
I think the Fashion Police will probably have you locked up quicker than you can say "Victoria Beckham".
You're wearing:
(a) a chicken suit
(b) a "hamburgler" outfit or
(c) leather bondage gear
under there?
ADG
I never say 'Victoria Beckham' MadDog - and any police would have me locked up.
Well, lord andrew, I've never tried
wearing a chicken suit, or a hamburgher, I just eat 'em. I'll leave the bondage look to 'Victoria Beckham'
(Said very quickly)
Well, you jist can't put yer big boots on da clean seats of da nice fancy train.
Btw, "fancy train" is o-tone by two awed Londoners I once overheard in my regional train. Is so funny da limeys always natterin' away wivout the least idea that some chiel 's sittin there among them understandin' every word an' takin notes. The Scots are safe though, I niver understand a word they say.
Where was I ... oh yes carry some old newspaper or plastic bag, to drape over train seats you wish to rest your feet on, ifn you don't want to make some nitpicky controller's day, and ise sure you don't want that.
It's just Krakens who don't need to carry newspapers, as for one they don't wear big boots an' secondly got 8 arms to twist the controller a little.
Nice boots........hahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahaha
I hear Deutsche Bahn is buying up train lines in Britain, so you better get inta the habit of carryin dat plastic baggie fer yer unruly boots, yes.
It seems, Delicia, that you are incorrect in assuming any self-respecting Kraken would travel by train - however fancy
it is a fact that they swim up the Elbe, waving their sucker-plates, and singing "Ja Ja, Vunderbar!"
And if you hope the Brits are going to carry little bags wiv 'em on the train, you are doomed
As for you Zap, watch it or I will come round and kick yer door in wiv me Size 4's
So there
Oh dear, RF.
Looking at your piccy reminds me of something - now what was it?
Ah yes, something green and shiny - or is it slimy? - creeps about overland wiv suckerplates concealed in big boots - big bushy eyebrows to assist propulsion through water - RedFred - YOU are the KRAKEN!
That Controller don't know what a lucky escape she had...
Haw, haw...
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