He Done Me Wrong

Somehow, I will have to invent a lurid private life if I am going to keep 'In' with the In-crowd, or I can see I will be Out, with the In-crowd.

After many sittings on-the-bus-home, and having listened (unwillingly) to my fellow travellers’ phone calls, I can see that my social communications lack that tabloid sparkle.

Sometimes we get a real star turn. Like the evening when the 'whole on-the-bus-home crowd’, got transfixed by Miss ‘He-Done-Me-Wrong’



The turn lasted the entire 25 minutes journey. Lucky me, I get off at the terminus, and had to listen to the whole thing.





“Yes” she bawled “I’m going to Court, he won’t get away with this’ followed by a long diatribe about all the unspeakable things he had done. I wish she had explained a little more about the Chinese take away dinner.




With a significant lowering of the voice, she hissed “He threw it on the floor! I never told you about that.” (the Chinese take away dinner, you know)

Before we could work out all the implications, Miss ‘He-Done-Me-Wrong' continued “My mother knows what he did……she knows! “
Somehow we get the impression that ‘mother’ doesn’t want to get involved.
Wise lady.



Me and the woman on the adjoining seat, gave up pretending not to listen. What was the point, we needed ear muffs not to listen. Our star turn was in full flow, and the decibels were rising.

“The bastard! He’s going to pay!” she shrieked “I WANT JUSTICE!”

My companion giggled, without any pretence. Don’t blame her, as the diva went into top gear “When this is OVER” she continued “You and me will go on holiday and….”

Suddenly she leapt for the door, waving at the driver to stop “Can’t talk now, I have to get off.”
She fell off the bus, still yapping into her mobile. So we never knew what was going to happen on this holiday. Nope.




Out of my league, as you can guess; I belong to the “I’m on the bus, in a traffic jam” club. Yep, no hope of stardom, none at all.