Friday, July 02, 2010

The Killing Zone

The garden has been taking a great deal of my time, and you can banish any ideas of gently communing with nature.
It's war, folks, just war – every time you go into a garden centre, guess where people head for?

The Killing Zone


The Killing department gives no concession to tree huggers, bee lovers, insect collectors, nope, don’t’ try to save the planet just eradicate the little critters. Buy your choice of poison and water all those lovely flowers.

I have yet to meet anyone who loves the lowly slug; if you do, don’t write to me, as I declared a holy war on the horrible mollusc some time ago.
Last year, the buggers destroyed practically everything I planted – so, stuff ‘em and throw blue pills everywhere.

With gardens, you don’t win it all – my sunflowers never got to their promised 10 feet and the butterflies have refused to visit me.

Ungrateful, I call it.
If the ladybirds don’t make use of the special house wot I have purchased, there is going to be trouble.

You think I can’t frighten a ladybird?


Think again.


Delicia said...

I hear that cucumber slices in an aluminium vessel scare the nasty snails outof the garden. Wonder ifn that's true.

Red_Fred said...

Now now, don't be silly - I am not creeping round the garden waving cucumbers at Snails!!

Delicia said...

no dear, you just place the arrangement somewheres, where you don't want snails. I understand that cucumber juice reacts with aluminium producing a smell that slugs detest. Only thing that makes me wonder is how something as destable as a slug also detests something in turn. But it's worth a try. Anything is worth a try.