I can see that I must stiffen the sinews or whatever it is us Brits do in times of trial; after all I have several weeks of profound irritation to look forward to.
One of course is the General Election, which will amuse for a few weeks, and the other is the hysterical saga of Chas and his Custard getting hitched.
The astrologers are having hysterics about Chas as well, in particular Jonathan Cainer who was horrified to find that the original date for this idiot wedding fell under an eclipse.
Bad news apparently, real bad news. You don’t mess around with an eclipse.
However Mr Cainer was not happy with the change of date either.
Void of Moon.
Nope, not good either – under this Void, events ‘come to nothing’ and apparently the last Royal wedding (Andrew and Fergie) took place under the influence.
Yeah well, with the Sun and the Moon in opposition, don’t murmur sweet nothings, nothing is what you get.
What’s worse is that the Grand National has now been buggered up! Why the hell can’t this imbecile get hitched in Siberia or a deep undergound cave, anywhere so that we don’t have to miss our important appointments with the Grand National or the Lotto?
I must order a new guillotine, at once, yep, I must.
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